ADVICE FOR A GREAT VALENTINE'S

ADVICE SOMEONE SHOULD HAVE TOLD ME REGARDING VALENTINE'S DAY

1.To appear romantic, you should start calling your loved one puta it means "beautiful" in Spanish. 

2. For the best romantic films to watch, I highly recommend the following; Teeth or Centipede 

3. Make out music is key. I would suggest to play Kanye West's Gold Digger but the song is very straightforward. So here are some song that I recommend:

•I'm in love with a stripper by T Pain

•FU(feat. French Montana) by Miley Cyrus

•Don't hurt yourself by Beyoncé 

•Needed Me by Rihanna

Not only are these romantic but they also have a common message on relationships.

4. If you are cooking anything for you loved one or you wanna surprise them with a tantalizing dinner. {For the record, I don't like using words like tantalizing or people who use words like that but since I want to be appealing uh why not.} Spice up your dinner by using the following secret indgredient. Not only does it come in solid form which you can put it in your mouth and also chew but also in powder form hence you can sprinkle it in everything. Like it literally goes with anything from soup to desserts, you can never go wrong with this ingredient. And what ingredient is that that you may ask? It's garlic ! Just make sure you date isn't a vampire cause vampires don't like garlic.

5. Instead of buying candles why not set the whole table on fire.

6. Flowers are everything. Make sure they are the right ones though. The thornier, the better. 

7. Buy white and dark chocolate because you are not racist.

8. Buy red, white and dark wine because you are not racist.

9. If your date dies by mistake, do one of the following things:

A) Call the police — not the wisest choice because you automatic becoming a suspect.

B) Make sausage out of the flesh . Probably going to last you a whole year.

C) Also die because this will be a real life adaptation of the most romantic couple in history. Romeo and Julliet.

10. Just kidding, don't follow any of those advices (apart from 4) This post was only meant for humor so don't take anything into consideration. If you enjoyed this share it will ya.